Your sexual energy can help you live longer

What really is sexual energy?

We are sexual beings, and thankfully so. However, I believe this energy is greatly underutilized and misunderstood.

Largely that’s because the word “sexual” for some, can bring on all sorts of unhealthy thoughts including religious sin, poor self-image, jealously of others or frustration over being deprived of intimacy.

For example, in a recent office visit a 66-year-old woman revealed her chief complaint: vaginal dryness and zero sex drive. She claimed that this complete lack of sexual energy was her major reason for wanting to divorce her husband of more than 40 years. She came for hormone balancing and to feel well again. I am hoping to save her marriage with Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy (BHRT) and some coaching.

I think we all agree that without sexual intimacy many of us feel grumpy, confrontational, moody and frustrated…

One woman described her experience this way: “I’m coasting on oxytocin and love for a couple days each time we have sex. I’m more loving, responsive, positive, and happy when our bond is strong. I love ‘love.’ I love craving my man, I love feeling wanted, and I love wanting. When there’s a deficit, it’s worse than hunger and I’m cranky and unsettled.”

Ever wonder why this is? Science is revealing more about how testosterone surges help relieve depressed mood. Studies in animals tell us that in the hippocampus, a part of your brain where memory formation and stress regulation occurs, testosterone mediates our mood.

Furthermore, we know that sexual intimacy produces the brain neurotransmitters dopamine, the “feel good” neuro-hormone, and oxytocin, the “intimacy and belonging” neuro-hormone that is released when you kiss someone, have sex, breast feed and give birth.

Love and sexual energy

While sexual arousal feels good, it is only a precursor to the greater feeling of real and unconditional love. This is what most of us know and want most of all. Yet there are counterfeit forms of love such as worldly pleasures, power, wealth, or praise. And while these feel good, they fall short of the pure healing energy of unconditional love.

The power of love and connection has actually been measured in terms of various health outcomes. For example, in a Yale study, those who felt the most loved had much less blockage in their coronary arteries.

Similarly, Case Western Reserve University researchers studied almost 10,000 married men and found that those who said “yes” to the question “Does your wife show her love?” reported significantly less chest pain.  Furthermore, Duke University researchers found on a survey of men and women with heart disease that the death rate after five years was three times higher with those who were single or lacked a trusted friendship connection. All three of these studies found the protective effects of love to be independent from other risk factors.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of science that proves the health promoting effects of feeling love and intimacy.

When you consider love in a relationship, you also talk of intimacy. The word intimacy is short for “into me you see.” Intimacy occurs when two people step totally out of their thoughts or mental judgments of each other and instead focus on their feelings for one another.  I have learned that a woman in a committed relationship must first feel appreciated by her partner before she can feel sexual energy.

Ask yourself if your most intimate relationship is focused on this feeling or if you have become “past feeling.” If you have forgotten how to feel vulnerable to the spiritual energy that the two of you can create together, it is time for assistance and honest sharing.

Creativity and sexual energy

This feeling of connection, sexual desire, and intimacy is a real driving force for creative accomplishments. Let me explain how this can work for you.

Sexual attraction stimulates a creative energy and strength within you. It helps dispel fears and thoughts of limitation. At the same time, you’ll find a heightened ability to dream with enthusiasm, passion, and creativity. You can discover new ideas better and be more motivated towards your passions and goals when you have sexual energy brewing. Even your passion about your family, your career, and your hobbies is enriched when there is frequent sexual energy.

In my next article, I’d like to share ways to enhance sexual energy.

To feeling good often,

Michael Cutler, M.D.

Source: Carrier N, Kabbaj M. Extracellular signal-regulated kinase 2 signaling in the hippocampal dentate gyrus mediates the antidepressant effects of Testosterone. Biol Psychiatry. 2012 Apr 1;71(7):642-51. PubMed PMID: 22265242