Training your memory for your age

How many times have you showed up at work on a Monday and been asked “How was your weekend?” only to be unable to recall a single thing from the previous two days?

If you’re like most people (me included), the answer is “all the time.”

You’re not losing your mind; you’re just not in the habit of recalling things. You have experiences and they pass through you without sticking. For some parts of our lives, this may be a good thing. If you had to give 100 percent focus to every little action you do, from brushing your teeth to driving to work, you’d miss out on a lot of brainless, dreamy contemplation time.

But certain things — your wife’s birthday and your day’s appointment schedule, for example — are well worth remembering. Perhaps even more important, you don’t want to forget those little inspirations you have at random times — in the shower, on a run or a bike ride — throughout the day. Those little inklings can eventually form the foundation of a new direction in your life. They’re little imps whispering in your ear, urging you toward a better version of yourself.

Most of us have a fear of losing our memory — and with the prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia among older men, this fear is understandable. As the film Total Recall suggests, the aggregate of your memories constitutes who you are in many ways. The mental storehouse of your remembered experiences is what makes up your identity. So, even the smallest indication that you’re losing your grip on those fragile images and sound bites can be unsettling indeed.

Like virtually anything else, though, you can train your memory. Here’s how I do it:

Practice total recall

Every night before you fall asleep, go through your day, one action at a time. What time did you wake up? What did you do first? What did you eat? Where did you go? Whom did you talk to? Remember in as much detail as possible — right down to the name of the barista who got your coffee at Starbucks. After you’ve done this for a few days, try recalling two days before, then three, four, and so on.

Learn new stuff

Crossword puzzles are one clichéd way of staying mentally sharp, but there are many, many others — most of which involve learning or refining a skill. Learning a new language or a new song on a musical instrument, or memorizing text, poetry, or inspirational quotes are all great ways to strengthen your memory. I’d also urge you to read as broadly as you can and never stop learning. At present, I have about thirty active monthly subscriptions, including such diverse publications as Popular Mechanics, National Geographic, Psychology Today, and Scientific American.

In addition, new physical experiences and skills translate into more synaptic connections. This is part of the reason I vary my workouts so much — it keeps my brain healthy and young by focusing on new moves and techniques. It’s also why I took up flying lessons.

Bottom line: keep busy — mentally and physically — to stay sharp.

Write stuff down

The simple act of writing things down is incredibly powerful. The walls of my office in Newport Beach, CA are covered, virtually floor to ceiling, with whiteboard paint. I love being able to jot things down, to get my thoughts out into a visible form. I keep notepads everywhere for this same reason, and frequently use the recorder function, the Notes app, and Siri on my iPhone to get my ideas down. I’ve been known to jump out of the shower to get something down on paper before stepping back in to finish washing up. It’s scary, but sometimes you can lose a thought in the time it takes to get to a pen and paper!

What you write down is what you’ll remember, act on, do, and realize. Of course, writing also makes you translate a vague inkling into language you understand, which is the first step to getting it done. And once you’ve written it, you can release it into the universe. It’s on the list, so you don’t have to keep it in your brain.

One final tool I love: wunderlist.com. It allows you to make lists that you can share with collaborators — and update them constantly. I highly recommend it.

Pay attention

According to research, memory is driven by adrenaline. Those events in our lives that excite us — getting married, having a child, taking your company public — tend to be driven into our memories more completely. That’s part of why you don’t remember a boring weekend. So part of remembering is being present. It means slowing down the noise in your head long enough to notice things like the new flowers in the neighbor’s yard as you get into your car to drive to work. Attention is a hidden, powerful discipline, and it’s a key to keeping the memory sharp.

You can read more information about healthy living and peak performance as you age in my book: “Your New Prime: 30 Days to Better Sex, Eternal Strength, and a Kick Ass Life After 40”.