The scientific reason it really is better to give than receive

Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving gifts, especially when it’s clear the giver has gone to a lot of trouble to give me something that they know I would like.

But honestly, nothing beats that warm glow I get when I give a gift I’ve put so much thought and effort into to a friend or family member.

I love watching them open the gift and seeing their faces light up when they uncover what I’ve given them.

I’ve often wondered if everyone feels that way about gift-giving. The answer is, they do.

It turns out the old adage “it’s better to give than to receive” is true — and the reason is based on science…

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The love hormone: an unexpected benefit of gift giving

When you give a gift, particularly to someone you have a close relationship with, it activates key reward pathways in your brain, says Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director at the Greater Good Science Center, a research center at the University of California, Berkeley.

Over the past decade, several studies have shown that spending money on someone other than yourself promotes happiness. And here’s why…

When we are generous — whether donating money to a charity or giving a loved one a present they really want — it creates more interaction between the parts of the brain that process social information and feel pleasure.

“Oftentimes, people refer to it as the ‘warm glow,’ this intrinsic delight in doing something for someone else,” Simon-Thomas says.

You can thank your brain for that — and for activating pathways that release the neurotransmitter oxytocin, the “love hormone” that signals trust, safety and connection.

Studies have indicated that oxytocin may have potential to treat conditions like osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s and tinnitus, and may have benefits that impact addiction, depression, anxiety, anorexia, autism spectrum disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder. It also improves life satisfaction.

These feel-good effects on the brain begin long before you even hand over the gift. It starts when you start thinking about what to get and extends to shopping for and wrapping it. The whole experience activates those same reward pathways, Simon-Thomas says.

Studies suggest receiving a gift could engender a similar response in the brain. “If you’re given a gift from someone who cares about you a lot and you really love what they have gotten you, that is going to yield a very similar oxytocin-laden reward response,” Simon-Thomas says.

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Stress may offset that effect

While gift-giving and receiving can often lead to hopefulness and excitement, it can also bring up other emotions, including stress and anxiety, says Dr. Scott Rick, a professor at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business.

“When it goes right it can be a wonderful thing but can also come with a lot of anxiety over how much you’re spending or whether or not they will like the gift,” Rick says.

And when gift-giving becomes stressful, it can suck the joy out of the gift-giving experience.

“If you are really stressed that is overwhelming your ability to anticipate or savor the experience, then dopamine and oxytocin aren’t what’s being released in your brain,” Simon-Thomas says. “You’re probably just feeling stressed the whole time.”

In this case, she adds, it’s important to shift your mindset. If you’re stressed about finances, set expectations with friends and family up front. Instead of spending money, consider giving the gift of your time, whether to perform a needed task for them or to do something together. You can even give a handmade book with coupons that can be redeemed for one event, such as going to a movie together or washing the dishes for the giftee.

“A good gift involves some sacrifice — money, time or both,” Rick says. “It shows that you understand and know the person and can surprise them.”

As long as you’re giving from the heart, you could probably expect loads of the love hormone in return. But to boost oxytocin and other “good feel” hormones year-round, try these tips.

Sources:

What happens in your brain when you give a gift? — American Psychological Association

A neural link between generosity and happiness — Nature Communications

Does spending money on others promote happiness?: A registered replication report. — APA PsychNet